Letters Home
by KrystalKamichi13
Summary: Mello recalls his past and writes it all down the night before his and Matt’s anti-Kira mission.


___Letters Home_

___Krystal Kamichi_

___Summary: Mello recalls his past and writes it all down the night before his and Matt's anti-Kira mission._

___Disclaimer: I own nothing_

___-I'm-not-depressed-I-swear-_

_You know, thinking back on that dreadful day when I stormed out of Wammy, I ask myself a couple of questions and try to think of how different our lives would be. When I say our, I mean myself and Matt but, you probably guessed that. Right away my mind turns to these two: _

_'What if Matt had overheard the conversation? What if he had chased after me?' _

_That last one always get to me, because in a way, I always wanted him to. I wanted to hear his voice. I was always able to look to Matt and L when I was in trouble; they knew me, knew me better than that dickface Near. Those two seemed to know just what to do. Matt would I find some stupid, lame thing to do when I was in need, when I felt like the Lord had betrayed me, like a close friend would do but, it worked. L, on the other hand, would always call me into his room, sit me on his lap, hand me a chocolate bar, and say, 'Mello what's the matter, I know something has upset you, so tell me what's wrong? You know, Matt's worried too.' Right away I would tell him what was on my mind and how I felt. When he was done listening and cheering me up he would always add, 'There's someone waiting for you outside.' Sure enough, everytime, Matt would be there leaning against one of the walls, playing his handheld, waiting for my safe return. Well, almost everytime. That time though, I needeed him more than ever before. _

_In the end, the only reason I was in with __**that**__ group was because of __**those**__ three. L, my idol and the person I thought of as my big brother, died. Near, that bastard, with his emotionless face, that face that did even change when he heard the news. Finally, there was Matt; between his absence that day and L's death, I was hurt more than I think either of us knew. It was only just recently, in that filthy rat hole that I realized how much that had truly hurt me. _

_It was there amongst the women, guns, and fellow mafia members that I knew why I was depressed. Although it was more a clould of swirling, mixed emotions rather then depression; you know, anger, hatred, vengance, and so many others that I wouldn't want to bother you with. I knew, though, that I needed __him__. I need to feel his gentle touch, hear his caring voice, and see his face just once more, if possible. _

_When I lived through the blast, I knew it must have been the Lord's will. That's why I searched him out, through the burns and other wounds, I found him. When I first saw him standing there, I wasn't quite sure it was him, so I called his name. It was when he dropped his cigarette to catch _

_my battered and collapsing body, my last wish came true; I saw his face, heard his voice and felt that gentle touch. I realize now that when I did, I must have looked absolutly awful. _

_After that, the next thing I remember was waking up in an unknown room at some odd hour at night, with my wounds already tended to and a sleeping in a nearby chair. The next time the two of us were awake at the same time, I explained everything to him. Of course, he was worried when I suddenly left without warning and being the dickface that he is, Near never mentioned a thing. Matt, in the end though, agreed to help to help me. This leads me to our current situation. _

_Tomorrow, the final showdown starts between us Wammy Boys, Matt's nickname for those of us who grew up at Wammy, and Kira. This is the only time though, and only for L, that I am ever working with Near. The plan is already in action on his side, all that's left is for mine and Matt's job. I don't how easy this will be, but we're going to go ahead anyways, for the sake of capturing Kira. In a way, I feel that if this works out, it will my. . . no, our gift to L. _

_Deep down inside, hidden away from Matt, I know this plan won't go smoothly and that we won't make it through safely. That is why I wrote this and am sending it back to you, Roger. This ia an account of how I have felt and what I have done these past years. Of course, I have left some things out and only three people know what truly happened. Those three are the Lord, L, and Matt. I know that some where and at some time, you were worried about me and if I am right, I am glad. I want to end this on a happier note, for the sake of you and the others that might read this. Matt and I wish we could be there to celebrate our L's unbirthday. If we don't make it, included is a picture of us, a chocolate bar and two of Matt's DS Styluses, since L collected them. _

_ -Mello _

_ 06:13:06 _

_ 26 January 2010_

___-Oh-really-now-_

___A/N: Random ideas strike at random times. 1:47 for example. Be warned there might be a second 'chapter' from Matt's POV. Maybe… don't keep your hopes up. I have a bad habit of starting things and then forgeting about them. Sorry about that. ADD!_


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